For many people, including myself, the sport of rugby is more than a game, it’s a community that is built from respect, passed on traditions and most importantly, teamwork. It’s an inviting sport that brings all people together, regardless of size, gender, sexual orientation and culture. It’s a sport that I am proud to be part of.
As an openly gay man, my experience playing rugby has been a positive one shaped by my teammates, coaches and clubs. Growing up in the Interlake region of Manitoba, the sport of rugby was very rarely talked about, especially living on a farm twenty minutes away from anything, really. While in grade school, volleyball was the only team sport I played as I spent my evenings working on my family’s dairy farm. It wasn’t until university where I really found my passion in playing sports and fitness. When my best friend introduced me to the game of rugby, I didn’t look back, I was hooked. Meeting the team and learning the sport, I instantly fell in love with it and felt immediately welcomed regardless of my height, weight and sexual identity. Rugby was the one sport that I felt like I didn’t have to fit into the ideal body type. If you can run, pass, and tackle, you’re set!
I started playing rugby in the winter of 2015. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. From playing touch rugby during the winter months to playing contact during the summers, it became a huge part of my life. Over the years, I have had the joy to play for two different clubs, the Winnipeg Wanderers and the Saskatoon Wild Oats, as well as stints with Team Manitoba Prairie Fire, University of Manitoba Herd and the University of Saskatchewan rugby club. During that time, I was fortunate enough to be a part of two provincial championships, receiving two “Rookie of the Year “awards and an MVP award. When I moved from Manitoba to Saskatoon to be with my partner, who I now call my husband, I immediately joined the Saskatoon Wild Oats and have since developed long lasting friendships.
Being a gay man, and like every out person in the 2SLGBTQ+ community, we eventually have to consciously come out to live our identity. As many times as I have to say it, saying “I’m gay” or using terms like “boyfriend, partner and husband”, when meeting new people or joining a new club is not always the easiest, especially in a hyper-masculine sport with few gay male role models. However, after coming out to some of my teammates here in Saskatoon, they made it nothing but easy for me. They didn’t judge, or make me feel anything less than, like an experience I’ve felt before. To this day, I still chuckle at a moment when a teammate found out and was shocked by it. I can still hear “Wait…Craig is gay?”. In fact, while I was worried about their reactions, one of the first comments from my teammate when he saw my partner come watch me play was “Oh sweet! So… does he want to play rugby with us, too?”. I guess it goes to show that I was more in my own head than I may need to be. Looking back on those days, I was initially nervous to come out, especially to certain teammates, but when Pride Month came around, my club showed interest in attending the pride events and being a part of the festivities. This immediately made me feel welcomed. It was after that experience, that I came out to the whole team.
Though most of my experiences playing rugby have been positive, I have been the victim of homophobic slurs, judgments and other challenges along the way. However, my teammates had my back, being the best allies I could ask for.
Representation in sport matters. Growing up, I didn’t have any gay male role models playing in sports. I believe that when younger athletes see people like themselves participating in sports, they feel as though they can be accepted for who they are and can be their authentic selves. We know that this can have a positive impact on their mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. I hope by sharing my experiences, this allows for 2SLGBTQ+ people to try the sport they have been wanting to try or continue doing the things they love doing.
Although I am no longer playing rugby, I remain active as a teacher, fitness instructor at Cycle Collective and a high school coach. By being in these roles, I believe it is crucial to promote and provide a safe and welcoming environment for all students, athletes and community members. Providing an inclusive welcoming environment goes beyond displaying the pride flag, but with daily actions and by being a supportive ally. Younger Craig didn’t think it was okay to be an athlete while being out as a gay man. It wasn’t until I was involved with rugby, that I truly felt supported and was able to be my true self.
Happy Pride!
– Craig Gilson